The one where I'm off to the Lions

Like a kid at Christmas. 

Here we go then. Sat on the periphery of gate lounge 63 waiting to board the 1915 Virgin Australia service from Sydney to Christchurch. Where I will commence my 2017 Lions tour. Pretty excited - justifiably so, I would say. In light of the opening two games, I imagine plenty of Kiwis would find my 'Kid at Christmas' level of excitement, somewhat laughable. "Excited bro, your stocking is full of coal, bro", they might say with a snigger and maybe a few more bros. In continuing my festive analogy, they are telling me that the Lions are a turd Rugby team and that I have zero grounds for any happiness or optimism that I foresee myself deriving from the 2017 Tour. I decide to leave this fictitious conversation, it is angering me, nearly as much as paying $15 for a Peroni, pint thereof, some half hour prior. For whatever reason, I am optimistic. They say it's the hope that kills you, right now hope is everything - both for a Lions victory and for my flight to pass through this unsavoury turbulence in one piece. 

The Jet Lag Blues

To take any positives from game one requires a binary outlook. Victory for the Lions put them 1 and 0. Coach Warren, pointed to jet lag as a justification for a sub par performance that manifested itself in a close encounter with those correctly tagged the weakest of all opposition. New Zealand isn't a rugby environment where excuses or whinging sits well. For evidence, please see the DDT on BOD. 

Not that it needed one, but the performance of the Provincial Barbarians was a further advert of how deep the quality runs in New Zealand rugby. A similar fixture in South Africa or Australia might have seen the opposition stand toe to toe for 30-50 minutes before wilting to a drubbing.

So down to Auckland where the Lions got a taste of the Blues - the opposition and the emotion. Despite the defeat, the performance of the Lions was a move up the curve. The Blues were victorious because they took opportunity, the Lions didn't. Early exchanges saw the tourists deep in the opposition territory on a couple of occasions. Overlaps were created, and squandered. As John Barnes famously said, you've got to hold and give but do it at the right time. The Lions inability to do the latter costing them a couple of five pointers in the left corner. Tries that would have changed the course of events.

In the aftermath, BBC sport picked 'sizzling' as their headline adjective for the Blues. The Sydney Morning Herald went for 'lowly' - a reflection of the cold hard fact that the Lions had failed to overcome the Auckland province who prop up the NZ conference in Super Rugby. "Bro, You couldn't even beat the Blues, bro".

Rugby Chaos

Rob Howley - serious rugby player, decent coach. The fella has come in for a pile of abuse from the Welsh public over the past 10 months - I've given him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps bias from my admiration of Howley the player but also justified by the coaching successes he has had both with and without Warren Gatland. However, I have serious concerns over his use of the term 'Rugby Chaos' to describe the brand of balling that Howley believes will deck the All Blacks. What does that actually mean? Nobody knows - it's not even provocative. It's jargon. Which I hate. Jargon don't win you games, I'm not sure chaos does either. It does win Robot Wars though - if you know you know.

Scientists have since reported that Howley's use of 'Rugby Chaos' scores pretty high on the Brent barometer, a simple scoring mechanism that enables one to judge a statement's cringe factor by imagining the words flowing from the gob of David Brent.  No more of that please, Rob - ye?

Game Day

Survived the turbulence, washed down with a couple of tins of Corona. Arrived in Christchurch, and had a pleasant night sleep in a pod at the Jucy Snooze hostel -highly recommended. Currently sipping a trim (pronounced trum) flat white, trying to suppress thoughts that this coffee isn't up to Sydney standards - don't want to be that guy.

Promises to be a cracker tonight, two line ups packed with a glorious combination of quality and gumption. The Lions will need to be every bit the sum of their parts to get up over a Crusaders side who have three characteristics that the Lions are desperately chasing - cohesion, form and momentum. 

Writing briefly interrupted there as I was drawn into conversation with a local who politely informed me that the Lions were in for a hiding. He also told me that both his uncle and grandfather and been Lions and his cousin played under 18 hockey for Wales. I didn't release any family detail, or recall asking about his. 

Anyway, that'll do. 1997 jersey on. Up the Lions.